Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Warning Label for New Birth Control Pill

The media has been abuzz about the new birth control pill that the FDA recently approved, which supposedly eliminates a woman's period during the entire time she is taking the medication. Of course, those pushing the new pill claim that its side-effects are minimal (yeah, just as they've claimed about all the cancer, osteoporosis, heart disease, depression, fetal abnormality, ovarian cyst causing contraceptives we've had in the past).

However, I thought of a few side-effects that usually don't make it into the disclaimers:

Warning, divine revelation and the Christ-given teaching authority of the Church have determined that contraception is indisputably linked to the following:
  • a chronic weakening of morality within our culture (e.g. pornography and abuse)
  • frequent exercise of dominion over the human body (e.g. embryonic stem cells and euthanasia)
  • general increase in number of abortions performed annually
  • excessive perception of women as mere objects of pleasure
  • absence of temperance within marriage (e.g. adultery)
  • abnormally high levels of divorce (up to twenty times higher in some studies)
  • artificial notions of superiority to God and his plan for marriage and the human body
  • perpetual burning sensation from rejection of grace and of God's law
It should be noted that church doctors have discovered a remedy that provides an instantaneous reversal of many of the above symptoms. If you have recently used contraception in your relationship, please see your nearest spiritual pharmacist for a prescription of absolution and penance (note: prescribed dosage of penance must be taken completely, even if symptoms appear to have diminished).

3 comments:

jeffcityjoe said...

Well said; I love it!

They ought to have a narrator voice this over in the cute little "YAZ" commercial where all the ladies are sitting around listening to their doctor friend extol the virtues of the pill.

Marjorie said...

PLEASE post this on a YouTube. See Dawn Eden's YouTube Chastity Rome-Chick Blues and the comments generated to see how powerful this stuff can be on video. Do It! Marjorie, www.dealwhudson.typepad.com

The Hands And Feet Show said...

Love it!